one week away from making it official...

Well folks... l am going to my pre-op today. One week from today l will be have surgery so that we can't have anymore babies.

I have been truly blessed with two beautiful and healthy children. I have what they say the "Million Dollar Family". I know it my heart of hearts that l making the right decision. That two children is what l want but for some reason l am feeling abit sad, abit scared and a bit unsure about get my "tubes tided".

I think it is because the knowing that something that my body was able to do...create beautiful miracles is no longer going to beable to do. That l am unable reproduce and little Kendall offspring. This makes me again a bit sad. Like l said l do believe that our family is complete and that we are very happy with the four of us but something far far far back in my gut says don't do it girl.

But if l don't l know that when Dylan hits two (just like Alyssa did) l was itching for another little baby. Dylan is such l had full and really couldn't imagen trying to jugle on more. That's why l need to do this before l change my mind.

AG on the other hand is a different story. He would have a house full of little Kendall rugrats if he could. Easy for him and all men to say. They don't deal with all the before and after changes that women go through emotional and physically when having a baby. I think they get off abit to easy.

You are problem thinking to yourselves well Tracey gave birth do two children...shouldn't AG be getting himself fixed, for that's the least he can do. Ya right. He's thoughts on this is... "God brought me into this world with these parts, l am going to leave this world with them". His cousin Vaughen says tell him that they aren't going anywhere they are just getting disconnected.
Thanks Vaughen. Oh well, if l don't no it then the world my have many more Kendall offspring running around.

I will let all of you know next Wednesday how the surgery goes. Hoping it isn't to bad. They say it has gott'n alot easier. l am hoping so for l have a four and one year old to look after.

Thanks for listening to my thoughts and enjoy such a beautiful day. l just love it.