Feeling a bit lost.....

Truth is...... i have been feeling a bit lost lately in my life. Like l have lost myself when l became a mom almost 5 years ago. For some reason it really hit me hard these past few weeks Something l am not really proud of admitting or even talking about. You would think that being a mother and a wife would be enough...would fullfill me. Yet it truly doesn't. I mean being a wife and a mother is my most important part of life but some how in this journey l have lost myself along the way. Now l am a stay at home mom, with daycare in my home. I am around children 24/7. Don't get me wrong l am thankful that l gt to spend so much time with my kids, but at the same time l miss what else is out there for me. I wish for interaction with adults from the work place, the need to get up in the morning and get dressed for work, do my hair and make up. Instead my hair is a bun, sweats on, and no make up. Everyday....over and over again. I once was out in the work force, and was what you may call a bit of a "high maintance" girl, but now l look at myself in the mirror and wonder how l am. This isn't the Tracey l once knew. I feel like l have let myself down in all ways. Especially letting myself go in taking care of me. When l feel this way l eat nothing but junk. gain 5 pounds and feel even more horrible. I can't remember the last time l bought some clothes for myself. It makes my sad to shop now. I once was a size 4 and l am now a 10. My body look s so different and therefore l just don't enjoy shopping like l once did. So l void it all together. This l need to change. I see how l feel about myself reflects back on my family. They love me for me. I know that ....but l need to love myself for me. I do know what my passion is. That is photography. Loved it for years and l am truly hoping that my starting my side photography business will help bring Tracey back. That l will get up each day happy and for what l have and who l am. Some people l know just can't relate to what l feel, but l know it is hard to stay home all day with 5-6 kids. It's hard.
Sorry ...l just had to express my feelings. I have had them bottled up for so long. People look at us and say life here is perfect. Never judge, there is always room for improvement everywhere.

So heres to a new day, fresh start, positive outlook. Wish me luck.

****I just have to say that l just read a fellow bloggers post and she had made me really see things in a different light. To be thankful for all that you have. live everyday on a positive note. Thank you so much for your words.